From Darkness into Light
From Torment into Peace
From coming apart at the Seams to
Streams of Whole Flowing Light
I ride the River of Pain and Release to Peace
To Freedom from Fright
To the Pure Light
The Dark Horse under the Blanket of the Void
Stands at my side
The Dark One waits while…
The Pure Light Calls to me – Come Home
Rest in the Hand of Love and be set free
To fly on the Wings of Grace where you belong.
Can you relate to my poem? My torment felt like I was coming apart at the seams. Spiritual and other types of help were the steams of whole flowing light that helped me ride the river of pain to release and peace. Support & healing freed me from paralyzing fear. The dark horse is that dark energy that drove me to negative thoughts and behaviors. Thank God the wings of grace were always with me, showing me how to love instead of rage & fear. That grace held and supported me while I went into, and through, devastating states of emotional pain.
As you establish the Divine connection that was severed by any wounding in your childhood, your mind begins to move away from thoughts that weaken you and instead think thoughts that strengthen you.
Marianne Williamson in her book, “A Course in Weight Loss”, 2010
Over many years, divine connection, professional help, and many other things led me to healing through learning how to safely release my rage and replace it with loving and forgiving myself. Once I realized it was with me, I tried to accept my rage and give myself permission to let it out by screaming, acting it out alone in my room (form of psycho-drama), journaling, and drawing.
Throughout this process I learned that paralyzing fear lay under my rage. It was brutal to sit with! But as that rage and fear slowly, and I mean slowly released, it naturally led to loving forgiveness.
This new awareness showed me how my forgiveness and self-love became a catalyst for the demise of my paralyzing fear. It was so important for me to know my own truth; what was within me.
One of the amazing parts of knowing the truth about how you feel about yourself is that when you rip the blanket off of the secrets you keep from yourself, you also find the key to let yourself out of your prison and set yourself free. That key is love yourself anyway, no matter what.
As you learn to watch your thoughts and deeply love and forgive yourself, it brings out the best in you. You are able to be who you really are at your center or your highest self, and feel okay with you and the world around you. This new perspective on life is mirrored out into your everyday life and things just get better.
This of course is a process that takes time, but it is fruitful life-work. Can you imagine a more beautiful gift to you and our world than a peaceful forgiving heart?
Have you discovered how you truly feel about yourself deep within you? If you have, how did you find your truth and what did you do with it? Digging around my mind in therapy, journaling, using my coping toolbox like using art to express, and self-help books gave me insight into many secret misbeliefs I kept hidden from myself.
While digging around, the deepest layer of rage was self-hatred, and for many years I had no idea it was with me. I felt an anger that would show up a lot but didn’t know why it was with me. That’s why it was so important for me to take my own hand and discover my truth so I could replace my rage and fear with loving forgiveness. I would say, and still do, “Donna, I love you, you deserve to be loved no matter what, no exceptions and no conditions.”
A major part of learning to love myself was through the process of parenting my inner child. I found when I met myself with love rather than that harsh inner critic that my self-hatred fueled, I got stronger and I healed some more. It has taken some time to learn how to respond to myself with love, but boy, has it been worth it! I have come to know LOVE to be The Wings of Grace.
My hope is for you to find a way to meet yourself with the love you deserve.