What does 'making it to the other side' mean anyway? How about feeling free to frolic like fawns on a beautiful summer day? To me, it means getting to a place along my healing path where I'm symptom free enough to live a whole fully functioning life. I see it as living a life which includes enjoyable time with family and friends, working, playing, having some quiet time, feeling free to experience joy and allowing a full range of emotions to flow through me. Especially, embracing my spiritual self, love and connecting with my heart center. I see 'the other side', of a trauma infused life as...
LEARNING THAT FEAR HAS NO REAL POWER OVER ME!
I CAN HOLD ONTO PEACE . . .
Do you believe it's possible for you to make it to the other side and feel whole? I know it's possible because I've experienced it, and I HOLD HOPE FOR YOUR HEALING. I'm writing this post because I hope you will read it and say, 'if it's possible for her, then it's possible for me'. When I saw and read about other survivors who were able to wade through their trauma healing process and were stable, I knew I could do it too. Reading about others making it to the other side inspired me, provided concrete examples, and gave me hope. It was still hard to believe the other side was real when I was in the bowels of my personal hell, but knowing others made it, sparked a light of hope.
Slowly, baby step by baby step, progress has occurred and there have been encouraging signs. I was deeply entrenched in my misery for so long that I could barely see any improvement. Although, as the years passed and the steps grew in number, I did notice new awarenesses. For example, I haven’t had a knock me to the ground nightmare that affects me for days in a long time. At first, the progress showed up as not having any nightmares for weeks – over time it was months – and now, thank you God with all my heart,
I HAVEN’T HAD a debilitating trauma related nightmare in at least 6 YEARS!!!!!
Here's another recent awareness or obstacle I overcame, I started a second part-time job. Did I hear myself right? Yes, a second job that I’m enjoying! I’m reliable, competent, and emotionally even enough to hold down TWO JOBS. What the?
Working strengthens me, but why? Then this occurred to me; For many years I thought I was too broken to fully function which included being able to hold down a job for any length of time. I used to regularly mention in my journals and to my therapist, that ‘I was unemployable’.
This is how my 'unemployableness' was turned around. As I’ve walked through my trauma hell and found that loving forgiveness with God, was, and still is, the key to my healing, I can now embrace the whole person I've become. I am free to feel peace, joy, and love. It’s okay, it’s safe for me to let down my guard and feel JOY. I am free to be confident and be my authentic self.
So, is that making it to the other side? Oh Yes it is! I'm free of major post trauma symptoms for many years now. No more monthly illness & chronic symptoms that come and go, no more mood states coming out of nowhere that feel like I’m coming apart at the seams, no more general anxiety or unexplained panic, no more flashbacks and triggers that send me into dissociated states that I can’t navigate through, etc., etc.
Not having to cope with all those symptoms and feebly trying to function through them has freed up significant energy for me to direct towards LIVING MY LIFE versus SURVIVING another insidious post trauma response. Not dealing with those exhausting experiences is a huge indicator of my healing progress. Working is yet another indicator or awareness that my trauma recovery is real and permanent. I am beyond grateful. My heart is full of gratitude.
Do I need to be vigilant with what stabilizes, grounds, and just plan maintains my progress? Absolutely! The other side isn't, 'I'm done and can let go of my maintenance plan'. Maintaining healing progress is a priority. My healing gift to myself is paying attention to and giving myself permission to feel my feelings. My feelings used to SEEM way to much to handle until I figured out they have no power over me. I am more than my feelings. More gifts to myself are setting healthy boundaries around my time etc, exercising, meditating, making time for family, friends, and fun, good nutrition, time for rest, and remembering that I MATTER, MY NEEDS MATTER, and I’M LOVED, FORGIVEN AND APPROVED OF. I say AMEN . . .
Yes, it's possible for you to 'MAKE IT TO THE OTHER SIDE' of your trauma healing.
If we could all remember, if it's possible to heal from devastating childhood trauma that squashes the soul, then I believe it's possible for each & every one of us to heal from anything we go through in a lifetime.
BELIEVE in YOU & YOUR ABILITY to THRIVE.
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