How could pearls have anything to do with trauma? There's nothing positive in that, right? But, I have received gifts in the complex wake of my trauma and ensuing healing work. I'm sure you trauma survivors out there have an idea of what I mean, especially if you have been working on your own healing.
Trauma survivors are some of the strongest, most courageous, and empathic people I've met. Those are pearls for sure!
How about the incredible determination it takes an adult to heal from years of childhood trauma. It's such a long torturous path of many steps backwards and thousands of baby steps forward. That ability to keep going on, takes tremendous hope, tenacity, and faith - more Pearls.
Why suffer through all those healing steps? I could have just given up. I had my moments, but thankfully kept going and after 20 some years I've arrived at a place of peace I thought was impossible for me. Am I done?
Unfortunately and fortunately not. Unfortunately because healing from complex childhood trauma goes on for a lifetime and it is Hard to do. Fortunately though, through this work I have grown to a depth that would not have been, if it wasn't for walking through these phases; my valley of darkness, crumbling into ashes, and being reborn. The phases which birthed my spiritual awakening, wouldn't have happened.
Yes, through healing from trauma, my spiritual awakening was birthed and I feel freer and more peaceful. I now know we ALL are spiritually supported because at every turn, every time I thought I could not go on, God showed up in one form or another and carried me through. That support is the foundation of hope I hold for all survivors.
We are not meant to do our healing work alone. It's just too heart wrenching, scary, and puts one in very compromised states where help is needed.
The spiritual support I speak of came in varied forms, such as, visions, dreams, poetry, and the many people that have helped me throughout my journey. From therapy to shaman healings to making me tea or picking up my children. So many helpers held a container of safety, hope and faith for me until I could hold it on my own. I am deeply grateful to each and every one of them.
Throughout my healing path I have come to internalize some spiritual beliefs I want to share with you.
I am a witness to my own and others wholeness by being present with love.
When I can connect with love in any moment, but especially in a moment of negative thinking/feeling, I feel peace come over me and know that I'm not alone. Or, I'm able to just tolerate it with more grace. I do nothing alone because I am in the presence of God-Love at all times whether I'm aware of it or not. When I consciously connect with my heart center and breath, situations just shift in a stronger more positive direction. I can sense I'm being assisted. I believe we all have constant spiritual help and when we open to it, we become aware that we don't have to do, and figure out, everything on our own, not ever.
This practice helps me emerge from the fear & judgement trap. It helps me open to more positive feelings and energy which results in lifting the current vibration. Where there is a higher vibration, there is love, peace, & healing. Where there is love, there is spiritual wholeness, connection and oneness. I do believe we are more than just a limited body, but rather, connected spiritual beings.
A beautiful expression of love is absolute unconditional forgiveness.
I pray to experience this high vibrational state of being more connected to loving forgiveness instead of fear throughout my days. That's why I practice going to my center and connecting to love. Is it more important for me to be right, win an argument or judge someone, than it is to connect with the peaceful calm within where love resides? No! It's profoundly more important to turn away from negativity and actively, consciously choose to love instead! Being loving does not mean letting people do whatever they want. It means setting a healthy boundary, limit, rule, etc. from a loving place instead of an angry, defensive or righteous place. In this space of coming from love, all those involved benefit, not just one. I'll take the strength that comes from peace & love any day.
Forgiveness is not condoning or forgetting. Forgiveness is letting go of the hatred and pain that holds us hostage to our past.
I remind myself - I love and forgive you for everything & I love and forgive me for everything. For every thing we ever thought we did wrong, our shame & self blame. We were mistaken and we have made mistakes. We all deserve to be forgiven and to be loved and accepted. That is where we find healing, miracles, and people changing their destructive behaviors into more positive thoughts and actions. When someone feels heard, seen, and accepted, they are more likely to open up and look at their wounds that are driving their destructive behaviors . They are more likely to change. I bet if my rapists were met by a world of love, acceptance, and approval as they grew up, they would have made different choices.
When I can find love in me in the midst of my fear, I see life differently.
When I see life through love, my life improves. I'm not so limited by my ego fears, doubts, anger, grief, and shame. Fear weakens and love strengthens. So, when I strive to see with love, I'm stronger and more positive. What a gift!
The spiritual beliefs and practice I'm describing is a work in progress just like the rest of my healing journey. Trial, error, success, failure - whatever - just keep moving forward with a positive intention and things slowly change for the better.
May we all be awakened to our higher spiritual self and experience the loving light of GOD.
...And, experience all our acquired pearls too.
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